The Diary of Camila O'Gorman, 1847 - 1848

Camila was shot, eight months pregnant, by this firing squad, 1848.

Camila O'Gorman: executed in 1848 for wanting traditional family values. She is a daughter of a respectable family that is loyal to the dictator Rosas. After falling in love and into an affair with Father Ladislao Gutiérrez, the two flee and are eventually arrested. O'Gorman was the first woman to be executed in independent Argentina. She was eight months pregnant at the time of her death. This is a summary of her feelings before the flee, in what would be similar today to a series of diary entries. These entries are based on information from the movie, Camila, 1984.

The Diary of Camila O'Gorman

Buenos Aires, Argentina, 1847

Entry one:

Dearest Diary,

I love to read. I am thankful for the gift of education. Literature is what inspires me. The work of Esteban Echeverría has not once disappointed me. I ask myself, "Do I read this work because it is the most beautiful literature?" Oh! How it excites my mind and body. "Do I read this work because it would disappoint he to which my family is loyal, the sole Juan Manuel de Rosas?" "Do I read this work because, most of all, it would enrage my father?" My answer involves all three of these options. I wear upon my dress every day a red sash that pledges my loyalty to Rosas, as does the rest of my family. Diary, why do I have such feelings of wanting more? Is it so awful to want what cannot be obtained? I wish to be engaged to someone whom I could love, feel, have a passion for. Why must I have to be told to settle for Ignacio? I will have to ponder these thoughts as I lie awake in bed.

Until tomorrow,

Camila

Entry two:

Dearest Diary,
I went to confession today, for I have much on my mind. I have looked forward to telling Father that I need to stop the thoughts inside my head. I need to do as I am supposed to, and think only of what is best for my family and the Church. Father was not there, but there was a new priest. I learn his name is Father Ladislao Gutiérrez, and he is young.

Until tomorrow,

Camila

Entry three:

Dearest Diary,

My father has enraged me once again. He has given me two choices: to join the convent and follow a life of religion and confinement, or to be married. In my father's eyes, there is no such thing as a young woman without a partner, or without a life of love through the Church. I, Camila O'Gorman, refuse to live a life without passion. Why must my father try and direct my life? Why must I live in a place in which I wake up at night to the drunken secret police roaming the streets? Oh, how I wish things could change. I think I will read.

Goodnight,

Camila

Entry four:

Oh, Diary! Much has happened since I have last written. Clara is now engaged! But I feel this news has many problems. Does Clara know what true love means? I do hope she is in love if she is going to marry. I, Camila O'Gorman, have found what true love is. I cannot deny my feelings, no matter how wrong they may be in today's world. I am inspired by the new priest, Ladislao. His words are strong and serve as controversy in the eyes of my family. I know that he understands my feelings for him, but he is not ready to step away from the Church. I worry he is hurting himself because of his feelings for me. This is not right. Why can no one see that true love is the most powerful feeling? It cannot be changed, no matter what Ladislao thinks. How I wish the two of us could live together in peace.

So many thoughts, Goodnight,

Camila

Entry five:

I am in love! I could not even begin to think of an entry suitable for this. I have begun an affair with Father. I realize that this is not right, but why must life be lived according to what others expect? Those who would see my actions as wrong have never found love themselves. Oh, my thoughts of a conventional life have perished.

Until another time that is appropriate,

Camila

Entry six:

Oh, Diary! I have the worst of news! My dearest grandmother has passed away. In Church today I could not think about my poor grandmother, for there was only one person on my mind, Ladislao. There is too much for me to deal with. I need to be away, alone with Ladislao. I want to start a new life. I do not want to live in a place where there is constant hate. I wish to be away from politics, my father's opinions, this church, and Buenos Aires all together.

In search for something better,

Camila

Entry seven:

Diary, this is the last day I will write. I am leaving. I am leaving everything I know for everything I want and desire. Ladislao and I will flee, together. I am very nervous. If we are found I am worried for what would happen to the love of my life. We are going, very soon. Diary, I know what I am doing is right. I know that no matter what happens life will be better if the two of us are together. It will not be easy, but it will be worth the while, or so I hope. Ladislao Gutiérrez is a wonderful man. The two of us shall be together, if not in this life, than in the next. Goodbye everything I know, goodbye money, goodbye fortune, goodbye Buenos Aires, and land that needs much help.

The rest shall be history,

Camila

Lara Mangialardi

Images from: executedtoday.com (could not find pictures from NY library)